Remembering...

Today would have been my loving mother-in-law's 70th birthday, but she passed away 16 days ago. As I read that sentence back to myself, it still seems very strange. Strange that my husband and brother-in-law no longer have parents, strange that my girls won't have her here anymore, strange to imagine this coming holiday season and all the ones to come forever without her, strange that she's no longer on the other end of the phone...I'm so thankful for having her be a part of my life for the past decade and more, and I'm grateful to God for the peace that truly comes because we know she loved Him more than anything. One friend of the family wrote of Ron's parents, "They were rich in faith and were glad to share this wealth with all those they ministered unto."There's so much I want to say here. I want to capture her sweet personality and heart. I want Ava to remember the fun times she had with Mammaw. I want her to understand somehow how much she loved Ava. And then there's Addison, who will never have even one memory of her; that breaks my heart.
Ava, from day one, Mamaw thought you were the best, so when you started to do things like smile, situp, crawl, walk, talk, pretend, she was the proudest grandmother. I don't think we could search the world and find a grandmother who loved her granddaughter anymore than she loved you. You couldn't wait for her to visit each time. She almost always brought you a gift that you looked forward to. Most of the time, I could find you two playing tea party in your room. You soaked up every moment of her visit. Our last visit with her was a few weeks ago; we all went out to lunch for Uncle Danny's birthday and then to Silver Dollar City where Ava & Mammaw rode the teacups together:)
I will try to help Ava remember these priceless memories, and I will tell Addison many stories about her grandmother. A few years ago, I helped her set up a Facebook; it was something she enjoyed so much-- reading back through her page, I saw these comments that do capture her heart for her family:
"My older son has a daughter, Ava, and they are expecting another one in May. It's hard to believe that I will be doubling my joy...for Ava is surely the joy of my life."
"I have been skyping with my four year old grandddaughter Ava...it was absolutely priceless! She has the most delightful expressions and gestures when she talks. I love her so much.. and when she says, 'I love you Mammaw this much'my heart just melts!!"
"I want to tell my sons, Ron and Danny, that I love you with all of my heart!! You have blessed me in more ways and more times than I could ever tell you. You have brought so much joy to my life, and I don't know how I could make it without you. Thank you, Lord, for my children!!!"
I watched her with her quiet grace as she was a pastor's wife, mom, mother-in-law, and friend. She respected her husband, loved and cared for and listened to her sons, supported me in my new roles, and laughed with friends. Hopefully someday, I'll be someone's mother-in-law, and I'll have grandchildren, and I can honestly say, I hope to be like her-- kind, uplifting, and loving. Some of my best memories are her praying with me; the Thanksgiving when she and I were really into Rachael Ray so we pretended to be her when we were cooking (what a wonderful cook she was!); playing Words with Friends at 2 am; listening to her stories of Ron when he was a little one; texting her pics of the girls and getting back such excited responses. I'll probably never see a sudoku book, Fox News, an iphone pic of my girls, or The Mentalist without thinking of her.
I wish I were better with words...